Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Anniversary lessons

Finally my little post-wedding project is almost done.

Basically its a mesh of all the photos taken during the ceremony, cropped, angled, cut and pasted into 4 A4 documents, joined together and framed.

Just need to get some thick black paper for the borders and it would be ready to be displayed!

I love my little home projects. An outlet for my creative side to grow. And it usually does come out cheaper in the end. And hubby indulges in my home projects...taking me to shops to buy all my creative stuff. And also giving me inputs when I can't decide. He is just great!

Anyway, we were both on all fours peering at the nearly completed frame and reminiscing on the event that happened nearly one year ago. And we couldn't believe actually that nearly one year has passed. We would be celerating our one year anniversary soon.

And we also realised that our lil one's estimated due date would fall exactly on our anniversary as well. And oh....very quickly.....I jumped at the opportunity to tell hubby that the baby would be my anniversary gift to him! Hahaha....now he is worried what to get me in return that would be just as meaningful!

But now that one year has passed, I kind of want to take stock of what one year of marriage has done to me.

Communication has developed to a new scale for me. I no longer struggle internally to push away any negative feelings or unhappiness or dis-satisfaction that I feel. I just say them outloud to hubby and we move on from there. It really feels like a weight off my heart as soon as I talk about it. Maybe in so doing I have even gained a few years of life !

Learning about communication also helps to a certain extent in the managing expectations bit about and from my hubby. When my marriage counsellor's wife told me never to expect your husband to know what you are thinking (even after so many years of marriage), I never really understood how important this lesson was.

Sometimes I feel with expectations, we have to know the "potential" of our husbands - in other words how much they understand about what we expect out of them - at their current stage and limit our expectations. Then work and communicate as a couple from where we are, agree together as to where we want to be and encourage (remind myself - no nagging) each other towards the agreed destination.

I also learned firsthand the concept of the servanthood attitude. Something as simple as ironing was once a source of my own resentment a few months into our marriage (maybe coz I am an early riser and do most of the ironing while hubby is still snoring away). But now, although I can't say it is a joy, I am using the time to talk to God about my husband and to pray for him.

(Also I must say that hubby does help out alot around the house once he is up.)

So, that's year one lessons for me. Prayerfully marriage as the years go by will be of more lessons and of more understanding of each other as a couple (then as a family).

First lesson as a mummy - practice praising the good in people's actions and achievements rather than harping on the bad/pouring cold water on their achievements. Reckon this applies as a lesson for a wife too!


A gift from God said...

Indeed it's fun to be with your own child. At this stage of your pregnancy, I am sure you can't wait for him to be out eh? Once he is out...depending on whether he is an easy baby or not... it could be alot of adjusting for you and your baby and probably alot of tears too! :) Just remember... the first few months are going to be tough but later on... just like my little Reese (11 + months)It's so much fun and pride being with him. :)

Oh, now is your first anniversary...Long way to go....alot more to learn...

The New Parent said...

Hi Ann--it's so nice to hear how your hubby is helpful and supportive. Such a nice example for all.

Ann said...

Florence - yeah...a long journey more to experience....but one which will fulfilling.

New Parent - thanks for the complement. He is quite a good example.