I did a change in my labelling today. Decided 'baby updates' is not an appropriate label to use anymore. After all what happens when I have another one? And Christopher is not going to be a baby forever. So, did some work there !
Also changed the look of my blog back to its original one. Hubby says that old one seems to be the best. And I think I agree now. I really don't like some designs where the space to blog is rather narrow. And this really screws up the whole layout and picture planning process ! What you plan in the Posting never really comes out as it is supposed to in the Blog itself!
So in the process of all this, I looked through some older posts.
Points that I noticed...
1) Used to be about me and hubby. Now hubby is no longer mentioned in my blog except in passing.
2) My style of writing is no longer that expressive....more factual
3) Purpose of blog used to be for me to express myself....now it is used to update other mums about anything new, to get advice and to give relatives a chance to see the progress of boyboy.
Looking back, I also realised I never did a post on the actual labour itself. Which is what I intend to do now...
My baby was due to come out actually late September. but 3 weeks short of my due date, I started to have some bloody show. Worried...worried....made an appointment to see Dr Dr.
I am starting to say wrods twice...a sign that I am teaching boyboy!
Since it was not a scheduled appointment (it was a Sat), I was the last one to see him. AND he was already late in closing up (due to an emergency C-sec that he had to do which put him 2 hours behind clinic appointments). So, irritated and tired Dr. Dr. decided all this waiting around is just too much (and I guess a bloody show isn't all that good too) gave me until Tuesday (my actual appointment date) to come to the hospital due to pain or else turn up walking in on Tuesday morning at 7am!
Come Sunday...went to church. Bet around the table if I will deliver today, Monday or Tuesday. SG leader wanted it to be any other day except Tuesday since that day would also be his birthday! But....reckon God must have told him otherwise. Coz by the end of lunch, he had resigned to the fact that he would be visiting me in hospital on Tuesday and not lying at home relaxing after eating his wife's sumptuous home-cooked dinner!
No sign of contractions (or so I thought) all that 3 days.
Did some squats on Monday. talked to mum, walked up the stairs, talked to baby to come out. But...no action!
Took my last shower on Monday night. Went to bed. Slept well.
Tuesday morning checked myself in at 7am. Was the first to arrive I guess coz I was shown into the FIRST labour ward. Checked out the place. Looked at all the gadgets. Changed my clothings.
Nurse came in to give me the 'push' up my behind. Told me to WAIT as long as I can. Are you kidding....she hadn't walked out of the door yet and I was in the bathroom already!
Good feeling.....very clean!
Nurse came in again....time to be induced! Needles needles....sigh.....looked the other way. Closed my eyes. Tried to relax.
It was painful. Poked deep into the vein on top of my left hand. I could literally feel the end of the needle and see it! Sigh....how in the world was I going to use my left hand now to grip the bed railing to push? how was I going to rest now with my left hand immobile!
Nurse says "That was a contraction". I looked at her....you mean that was it? I have been having that kind of pain for so long now then! Opppssss.....
Still bearable....can still watch TV and talk to hubby. Getting bored.
9 plus in the morning....Dr.Dr. walked in to burst my water bag. He put on his Phua Chu Kang boots. I was too busy preparing myself!
Gush of water....nurses were also surprised. They had to get the cleaner to come in and mop up the floor. Some people told me it would stink....but I didn't smell anything!
Oh.....then the pain started. About 2 hours later, nurse gave me a jab. She says "Better take now...don't tire yourself out. Jab can help you to sleep". Effect of jab = negligible.
I lost all concept of time now. In between bouts of pain, I dosed off. Hubby later told me I slept and moaned every 5 minutes. In between nurse came to check dilation. Was too tired and 'doopy' that I just let her do whatever she wanted. It still hurt like @^@%$@!$ but just wanted her to do it and get it over with.
Nurse proclaimed that I will deliver by 4 pm. It was around 12! I was like @^!#$^%$@!^#$.....so many more hours to go?
After a while/eternity (whatever), felt the nurse put the mask on my face. The gas thingy is here. Heard from others that they didn't like it at all and it didn't help them. So, with this preconceived idea in my mind, I didn't try very hard to breathe the gas. Kept pushing it away coz it was taking too much energy to breathe!
But Thank God, the nurses didn't give up on me. They brought a few masks for me to try. And finally I managed to suck in the gas. Oh....it was a relieve. I don't know about the rest but the gas really worked wonders for me! I kept asking hubby to give me the gas.
Hubby later told me they gave me a child's mask (hint to pregnant women)!
And also that I practically grabbed the gas mask from him to breathe!
Anyway at around 1, I was fully dilated (Thank God) ! Started pushing.
For the life of me, I don't know why I was in the frame of mind to control my pushing in case I poop-ed! I actually felt a pressure in my anus - the same like when you want to poop. So, I tried to push and yet control my poop.
I pushed for 1 hour. The nurse started to give up on me. They said the baby was like a yo-yo/Chipsome - One minute there, one minute not there/back in again!
I should have just pooped the baby out! Coz the poop was actually the baby!
At last they called the doctor. Dr.Dr. was really mad with me! He treatened that if I don't push properly, this baby will never come out!
Boo hoo hoo.....I was super tired by now. So I pushed and pushed again.
Heard Dr.Dr. ask for the vacumm. Got up to push again. Heard hubby say... baby out already, no need to push anymore. Then heard baby cry! Relieved...
Lay down to rest. Heard my phone ring. Heard hubby go out.
Dr.Dr. scolded me again saying he had to do all the work to get the baby out!
Heard Dr.Dr. say my wound is very bad - alot of cutting and some minor tearing.
Heard Dr.Dr. ask who my hubby was calling. Parents is it?
Felt my leg shiver. It shivered alot even when I was pushing. Nurse said coz I was tense and cold. Heard Dr.Dr. tell me to relax so that the shivering will stop and he can get on with his stitching properly.
Heard Dr.Dr. ask for another needle. Huh....that much to stitch?
Next thing I know, nurses were massaging my abdomen to get the blood out. REALLY painful. As bad as, if not worse than, labour pain.
Heard them ask me to get in and out of the stroller and the bed a few times.
Heard them say "Ahh....the power of tiredness".
I had no idea where I was or what was going on.
As for the needle in my hand. It was still there. And I still managed to grip the railing and push, roll around when I was in pain and use my left hand to lift myself up to move to the bed.
So....at the end of it all....all I can say is needles are nothing compared to labour.
Poop-ing in public is nothing compared to the agony of not getting your child out.
Looks is nothing when you are dead tired.
Labour is nothing compared to taking care of a child.
The wounds from labour is nothing compared to the joy your child will bring you.
To all pregnant women out there and all who are comtemplating another....I honour you, I respect you. Being pregnant is the start of God moulding us to be sacrificing, servicing beings...to be more like Him.