Sunday, March 23, 2008

Change in character, change in activity

Of late my son has been acting up.

It all started one fateful dinner time in Malacca during Chinese New Year when he was just a little bit flu-ish.

He was sitting in his stroller quietly like he has been doinog for the pass 5 months when all of a sudden, he looked up at me and started to 'shout'. I decided to call it 'calling' then coz that was what it was initially. He was indeed calling out to us to go home perhaps, not to ignore him perhaps, that he was warm perhaps, that is was too noisy perhaps....many many perhaps...

So, finally because I was with relatives, I picked hm up and carried him over my shoulder while I tried to eat up my dinner. he quieten down and ended up sleeping in the car on our way home.

Now, since that day, he was not taken too kindly to the stroller. he is fine when the stroller is moving around and there are things to see and the place is cool. But if we put him down while we are having dinner, I would only manage to take 5 mouthfuls of thereabout before he starts to shout (I don't call it call anymore!) !

Since this change in character, I have to be careful what I order now. It has to be dry preferably things that I can eat with one hand.

WInce this character change, I can no longer sit in church and listen to a full sermon (what more write notes!). I am lugging everything over to Sunday School where at least his cries do not cause heads to turn! Why can't he cause heads to turn in a different way!

The upside to my going to Sunday school though is that time passes really quickly. Also I get to know more mummies and get to share experiences with them. I get to see how some daddies and mummies handle their kids. I make more friends! Perhaps even get invovled in a new ministry!

So yeah....he is 6 months plus now. Showing signs of his own character. If he gets bored, he gets irritated. When he is tired, he gets grumpy. And he can give you quite a frown!
Though the smiles are a plenty and every so heart warming still!

The thing is, I am starting to wonder when we should start to put out foot down and not allow him to get away with his demands having to be met ASAP. At what age do they start to manipulate us. I know babies howl for a reason but is he still a baby at 6?


Kathie "Moomykin" Yeoh said...

This is an individual that you are responsible for for at least the next 25 years if not more - shaping his identity, forming good habits, training acceptable public behaviors...
This is what a Mother is!! YIKES!!

You know, many babies already know from birth, by smell, who are the ones who will give in to certain demands. :)

Personally, I am an indulgent mom. I think it's ok not to force them to sit in a stroller, but it'll mean you have to carry them and then run after them. But it means they get more sensory stimulation and you become more efficient, i.e. doing many things with one hand.

Of course you'll then envy other moms who can still do window shopping and those people whose children who can sit on their own and finish their meal.

(But honestly, I still think that's more a matter of nature than nurture. Max loves to sit and feed himself, while Micah still has to be spoon-fed or he won't eat anything...and they have the same parents. Figure that.)

A gift from God said...

Ah... he is still a baby! I agree fully with Kathie... let them have fun and indulge them... when they are about 2 years of age..then come the discipline... At boy boy's age.. he needs all the love he can get...

You know... I don't force Reese to sit in his stroller too.. just gets very tiring...and now after 7 months..he finally decided to sit in his stroller! :)

Our Jouneys.... said...

wah! motherhood is a challenging one.....u are strong

Anonymous said...

LOL! I TOTALLY understand how loud such 'calling' can be! Imagine the calling in a quiet temple, imagine that in a fancy restaurant where all the other patrons are quietly enjoying their meal when all of the sudden they are 'surprised' by my son's calling for "MA MA, PLAY"!

Enjoy his calling, Ann.
At least they call us now, by the time they grow up, they only have time to call us, just once in a blue moon....sad, but true.

andrewjune said...

when my girl girl is 3-5 months old she still sits quietly in the she's coming to 6 months old...and i know she can't wait to crawl out from the stroller (if given the chance!)
well if i ordered dry food, then i can eat while holding my girl girl, if not hubby and me will take turns :-)
well, motherhood can be challenging at times...but i'm loving it!

JLow said...

Ann! What are you talking about??

Don't you know, they begin manipulating us from DAY ONE!!

It's because of them that I am:
- no longer wear size 30-31 pants, and had to spend $ on new pairs;
- developing a sore lower back from their pleas, "calling", arms-raised I-wanna-be-carried;
- immediately "off-the-market" upon seeing the car seat in my car;
- don't know any latest songs other than We’re going on a trip in our favorite rocket ship comming through the sky, Little Einsteins..

HI said...

He's still a baby. I tend to Olivia's needs almost instantly when she was that age.

Now, at 16 months, if she throws a tantrums, I let her cry for a while. Usually she stops if she sees that it's not yielding any 'results'. LOL

Ann said...

Thanks for all your comments - there are some who still say to me "let them sing" and there are some who say that we should make known to them even at 6 mths what he can/cannot get away with!

I really don't expect him to sit in a stroller just to make things easier for me - meal time or shopping!

Just that I know it irkes people up when he shouts the way he does. And my entire family and extended are not really liking the whole shouting idea or my missing from dining table idea either! SIGH......

Jlow - and yes, I know to a certain extend my son is manipultaing the situation (just like me when I was young, says my dad!).

mumsgather said...

I think its just a passing phase. Besides, if you were a baby, wouldn't you prefer to be picked up and walk around or sit in mummy or daddy's lap and soak in all the exciting sights rather than sit in the boring hot stroller and stare at the ceiling? Haha.

Ann said...

mumsgather - you are right....was talking to a friend of mine and once they get to sit in the high chair, they learn to quiten down again!

It is good that they remain this curious!

Ponytail said...

I take it like this:
Changes means they r growing and being naughty means they have the ability to get our attentions and do things out of our expectation (creativity there). Not that bad at all looking from this angle.
Being a Mommy, can't help but to feel how I could ever cope when they r 3, 10, 15 or 21...its a lot of work and that means our life is never boring...hahaha...that also means I need more pampering to keep my nerves calm...muahahaha

U.Lee said...

Hello Ann, read your this posting with interest.
What I mention here is strictly my personal experiences.
When my son was about 6 months, 8 months, we had similar problems, but we had a good friend who was a doctor.
He told us to ignore him, at home of course...children at the age of 4 months already learn they can make mothers and fathers panic just by crying or yelling out.
We ignored him, he cried till he threw up.
We did this few days, he changed for the better. We never pick him up when he cries.
One day, at age 4 he fell down the staircase, about 6 steps. Of course he yelled and cried, we panic, rushed him to our doctor.
He examined him, no problems, light bruises.
He told us, if a child falls and cries blue murder, don't panic! BUT! If he falls down, doesn't make a sund, then rush to him.
When he was 5 years old, playing in the garden, I was gardening and finishing a cigarette flicked it away.
Somehow when I went inside the house to get a drink of water, he picked up the cigarette. I saw him doing it, but kept quiet. My wife too saw and wanted to rush out stop him. I held her back.
Ann, he put the cigeratte in his mouth and immitated me. He inhaled deeply.
The next thing he started coughing, then threw up, messing his t-shirt, he turned pale and green, my wife fighting with me to rush to him, I held her back. He threw up nonstop, then rolled on the grass, but never cried as he was choking. We watched.
He after several minutes recovered. His whole face, body, clothes messed up from his throwing up. And started crying softly.
Only then I let my wife go to him. But we never scolded him, just washed him.
Ann, I smoke, but my son never touched a cigarette from that day onwards. He learned the hard way.
He doesn't even drink, almost similar experience, but does have the odd beer with friends, thats all.
He is an Aerospace and Robotics Engineer today.
Oh ya, he was left handed as a baby. I, we trained him for months to use his right hand. It worked. He is a right hander today.
My friends knowing what I did scolded me say I was cruel. But their sons smoke. Mine does not.
Babies are very smart when young, they learn psychology at a very early age, how to make parents panic.
We have to be smarter then them.
Anyway, this strictly my personal thoughts.
Best regards, UL.

JLow said...

RE U.Lee's comment.

I kinda subscribe to this idea too. My eldest brother did the same with his crying son- puts him in the corner of the room till he stopped crying. Cry? Put down. Stopped? Pick up.

Regarding smoking, there was a Roseanne episode once where Becky was caught smoking (or was it the other daughter?) What Roseanne did was make her smoke the ENTIRE pack in one go, infront of her.

I know it was only TV, but I think it's the same "principle", somehow I believe it'd work too- well, obviously did with U.Lee

Ann said...

Uncle Lee - excellent words! I think in my heart of hearts, I too feel I need to discipline him coz a mummy always knows the characte of their kid, I reckon!

And last weekend, due to tiredness, I actually let him cry it out and didn't pick him up. After 2 minutes, he stopped crying. But the minute I walked into the room, he started to bawl away again....but softer!

We'll see how it goes and how best I can curb this excessive demanding cries!

Ann said...

Jlow - Actually looking back at all the comments, it is the men who are more 'hard' with their child rearing techniques!

but yeah, I think crying from something is alright...but crying for nothing is totally a no-no!