Thursday, March 13, 2008

Finding, finding, found...

So, everyone has a love story. The married ones, at least, on how they found their Mr/Mrs Right.

From all my previous conversation and snippets thereof, I reckon there are a few ways...

1) Accident happened (obviously)
2) Best friends than one day you wondered where to go from there
3) Criteria set and searched and searched until found
4) Criteria set. Searched and searched and cannot find, so settle for 2nd best/person who has ever faithfully been waiting!
5) Selecting the best of all candidates
6) Through prayer and suffercation (I bet that word is spelled wrong! :))
7) Process of elimination

Now, I reckon the first 6 are pretty standard methods that we have either heard of or seen on TV. Method 6, I got to admit can only be heard from a Christian. And method 5 will usually be done when we first hit college (when all the boys and girls are sparkling new and looking to hook up!)

My method was #7!

Now...have you heard of anyone saying they got a life partner by the process of elimiation?

Eliminate what you say?
Elimination of character/traits/issues....I say.

Now I would say that people who follow in my footsteps are really people who are not that particular (just a little particular) about any traits in their life partner. I usually go with the flow and if we hit it off, we hit it off. If we don't, we don't. Move on! So, as each came and went, I recognized that which was 'bad' (only bad actually) and eliminated that from my next choice! Look at the sequence of my elimination.

By the way, I am including everyone I deicded to give a chance to... including those that lasted only a few months! Hey...I am not a loner at heart! And only then can you see what I mean by elimination!

BF #1 - smart, tall, not too cute, easy to talk to BUT had a bad temper

BF #2 - smart, tall, not too cute, easy to talk to, good natured BUT Indian

BF #3 - smart, not too tall, musically GREAT, atheletic, understood me like he was from Venus too!, good natured, Chinese BUT mummy's boy

BF #4 - not too tall, not too smart, not that easy to talk to, good natured, Chinese, independent from mummy BUT he didn't have many friends!

( I never knew a person could have as little friends as he did! oppsss...)

BF #5 - not too tall, smart, easy to talk to, good natured, Chinese, independent from mummy, friends enjoyed his company BUT he too much of a planner (cannot change plans else long face already)!

(And you really can't have 2 people planning the day and wanting to do things their way!)

BF #6 - tall, smart (in a way :)), easy to talk to, good natured, Chinese, independent from mummy, has plenty of great friends, let's me plan away AND married to me!

So...you see, I ended up with hubby for all the ways he is NOT. And it is the ways that he is NOT which makes him the way that he IS!

They say no one is perfect. No person can compliment a person so perfectly from day 1. Mummy always told me that you be with a person whose imperfections you can live with.

I think after 5, I have ruled out most imperfections I cannot stand.
But people always change, there will always be imperfections. And we will always seek to achieve perfection (me, especially).

The true challenge in marriage is to continuously see that which is perfect.

It is NOT trying to make things perfect.
And it is NOT seeing only that which is not perfect.

Concentrate on what is beautiful and everything around it will dim away leaving behind only that which is beautiful.

God changes people. People don't change people.


We can only pray that God works a little faster! :)

8 comments:

HI said...

Looks like you got the perfect man! My hubby is my first and last bf, so I missed out on dating different man.

Somehow, chinese man just don't 'dig' me. :-)

KM said...

yes, people don't change people.
i should really stop trying to change 'people' that i love, trying hard to mould them into 'shapes' that i prefer....rather than loving the 'shape' that they are in.

hey, and thanks for dropping by my blog!

have a great Friday and weekend ahead!

JLow said...

After my big bad breakup & divorce, I was chatting with my older sister. She offered this: It's usually not the case of "oh I can't live without you" but more a "I CAN live with you"; fairy tale (typical Hollywood lovestruck mindset) vs real life.

Lucky we didn't have kids.

What brought this topic on anyway??

Kathie "Moomykin" Yeoh said...

Hmm... Interesting list of elimination.

Mike and I were no.2, so we are not so complicated. Just grew into love and want to spend the rest of our lives together.

Sure, we have changed from the time we started, but we are both, I think, pretty steady, no major drama of any sort, maybe some people think we are boring, but we have come to the stage where "sure and steadfast" is more important than a "kawabungga"-bungee-jump kinda thing.

I can't think of a better man to spend the rest of my life with and to be the father of my children. :)

p/s- we even have plans on what to do with and to our grandkids!!
Watch out, Micah and Max!!

U.Lee said...

Hi Ann, just by coincidence I posted something almost similar to your post.
Anyway, reading your this post brings to mind....
find a person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life.
And for every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it.
For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.
Glad to read your were successful in finding your Mr Right.
You have a nice weekend, UL.

andrewjune said...

wow you really went through a tedious elimination process LOL
anyway, really happy for you that you found your soulmate (it's not easy i know!)

Ann said...

HI - I didn't have a chance to seek outside malaysia. Chinese men had to do!

KM - yeah, we got to love the 'mold' that surrounds them! :)

Jlow - you went thru a divource...ohhh....really tough! Wrote this out of the blue...actually had another thought process in mind....but you know my mind runs off sometimes.

Kathie - i reckon the sure and steadfast is the better way to go. I am striving to achieve that. It's good for the kids too!

Uncle Lee - let me read that post you were mentioning.

Andrewjune - yeah, it was a tedious one. A 10 year process actually! :)

Pat said...

Mine was none of the ones you mentioned :) For me, after a few meetings, I just knew. If you ask me to explain why, I can't.

Talking about change, a friend shared a story once. His wife was very bothered by him always leaving his socks every where, and she used to nag him to change this annoying habit. Finally, she gave up and just went about collecting the socks quietly. After some time, my friend decided to pick up his socks!

I think my friend decided to change out of love for his wife. Call me naive, call me idealistic, but I believe true love conquers all :D