Wednesday, April 16, 2008

What would you do?

If you knew you were going to die soon....

Who would you leave your money to? Why?
Would you want your partner to remarry again?
Would you set any clause or make your partner promise you anything?

My colleague and I were talking about this today....this is my take.

I would leave some money to my husband and create a fund for my kid(s) with my husband as custodian until they are 21. I don't think I will give everything to my husband in case some witch seduces him and makes him spend all the money on her! hahaha....

Sorry dearie, you know women and their power lah!

My colleague is of similar opinion.
However, another of her friend says she will leave all her savings to her parents. Reason being they have taken care of her and educated her. Her husband should be able to take care of himself! However, given....she doesn't have kids!

Second question....
IF (and ONLY IF) my husband meets a woman who will treat our kids well and will make my husband happy, yes, I want him to marry her.

My colleague is afraid of this issue about stepmothers! Reckon we have been poisoned too much when we were young or have been exposed to too many Chinese dramas.

I did not think of any clause at first...but now come to think of it I would want him to make sure my kids still treat my parents as grandparents. Because for my parents, that would be the only link they have of me. And grandchildren are such joy to the old folks, after all.

So, what are your thoughts?


Ponytail said...

Wow! deep stuff...before this blog, I thot I will live forever...muahahaha!

Anyway, my take is more or less the same. Leave my worldly stuff to my kid, in the hope that she can use it wisely to survive.

I am sure hubby will be able to fend for himself (he has more than me, ok) and he most likely will marry again (thats just my thot!). They better treat my kid right and like a princess that she should be, else they would not want to see me again...hahaha!

Hey, I can see ur blog and comment now from my ofis network...hurray!

mumsgather said...

If my kids were older, I may leave it to them directly but since they are so young I would leave it to my husband for them and trust him on it. As for marrying again, he has my permission (hehe) but I've told him that he must not let my kids forget about me or else I'd come back and haunt him and his new wife. Muahahahaha.

JLow said...

I find myself thinking like you, Ann.

I would set up a sort of fund for my kids too, for till they are 21. But I would leave Hot Mummee enough for getting them to 21. We are already contributing to such a fund, so there is already that established pattern.

I won't leave her much for herself. Not out of spite; it's because she is both a very capable woman and who will also manage her (own) funds well.

As per her nickname, Hot Mummee won't have trouble finding a new partner. But like all parents, I would be concerned about the welfare of my kids. I trust that she will be mindful of the new partner's outlook on the stepkids too when she finds a potential... unless of course she is soooo taken by the new partner that she neglects her own kids' welfare.

Ditto with the grandparents, though I also don't know how to effect this wish upon her/them.

I recall a conversation I had with my older sister in law. She said she won't remarry, purely for the sake of her kids. She thinks it's a risk to them, 'cos you'd never know what the man will be like with them... She is the real motherly type, her world revolves around her kids, so I can understand her rationale...

U.Lee said...

Hello Ann, I will leave all my money to my wife.
I know her very well, and besides even though she's still exceptionally beautiful for her age, I guess men will take a pass, she can spend the money on shopping, ha ha.
As for her, she will leave her money to me...she too knows me and knows I will not remarry again, not at my age!
Ahhh, but a new car? Yes, ha ha. A new Nikon digital camera, yes. Thats about it.
When I proposed to her long ago, I gave her a bouquet of 12 red roses, of which 11 were real, one a silk rose, telling her I will love her till the last one dies.
That silk rose, 3rd replacement actually is in our living room...and will be there even if she passes away.
I guess as time goes by the love we have grows even more...and till death do we part, and after death do we remain in love.
You have a nice day, An, Lee.

andrewjune said...

wah ann, this is really is a deep post :-)
i hv thought a lot and i decided i will leave it all to my spouse to decide...but my parents must get to see their grand daughter!

hissychick said...

I take a very mature approach and try not to think about this scenario at all.

I do however rest secure in the knowledge that toddlerdaddy would do the best for my girls both financially and emotionally and ensure that they had plenty of contact with my parents etc etc

I have no problem with him meeting and marrying someone else....once the girls are all grown up. I can't stand either the thought of the girls being without a mother nor another woman stepping into that role. The having another wife bit doesn't worry me because toddlerdaddy will never get it as good again haha

Then again, it's npt really worth worrying about all of this too much because I figure that if I'm not around I'm not going to know how it would all pan out.

Moomykin said...

Money, I have none to leave for my kids, except the insurance policy Gadget-daddy and I have taken, so that goes back to him. And I know he will take good care of the kids. I have no worries about that.

The little that I have in my bank I would like to split it between my mum, as she is on her own, and my sis who is not married and so pretty much on her won too.

Marry again.... That's the tough one for us (we talked about this before). It's not that I'm selfish or possessive, but it's only OK when Hubby and the kids are READY. You'll never find one who will fit in your role perfectly, but when the time is right, and the right person come a along, then all should be well.

Moomykin said...

Oh, I wanted to add, the things I would actually do is to write them love letters for future. For the kids, when they turn 21 and when they get married. Of course they still can then read our blogs.

For hubby, ... His old love letters to me before I die, that they may be buried with me. This is so that he can have a new start when the right time and person comes along.

Ann said...

PN - haha...usually hubbies will be ale to take care of themself, don't really need our money! And yeah, we are always worries that the replacement doesn't take care of our kids well!

Mumsgather - ooohhh....dodn't think that hubby will let them forget me! Was only thinking of my parents and how to alleviate their grief!

JLow - yeah, reckon Hot Mummy is very capable in all aspects of her life. I think Caitlin will bear the worse of your demise irregardless the timing....

Uncle Lee - you one romantic bugger! Seldom we find a man who is as romantic as you! Start a website to teach all men tricks of the trade!

Ann said...

Andrewjune - you wouldn't leave for your little girl? But I guess your husband is good with money and all that as well!

Hissychick - very true on one comment - to remarry only when the kids are ready for it, grown up and able to understand.

Ann said...

Mommykin - the love letters to the kids is a great idea. I guess as a SAHM, it will be hard to find someone to step in your shoes. And the kids may find it tough wanting to expect the same but finding it is not. I fully agree that we should wait for our kids to be ready rather than hubby to be ready! Better (for the kids) to live without than to live with and be disappointed!

Anonymous said...

this question had always been in my mind.

and i even tried to discuss this with my hubby, but he always brush off whatever i have to say with a "YOU CRAZY IZZIT!! TALK ABOUT THIS ONE!!"

hey, hope you don't mind, INSPIRED by your post, i am going to write out my thoughts about this topic in my blog. perhaps if my hubby does not want to listen, he can read...

Julie said...

I've thought of this before especially now that I'm driving (in case I die in an accident). I'm not so worry for my husband but more for my children (now only Jonathan). Have been thinking (and still thinking) of the best person to help my husband in taking care of Jonathan. He can give the fatherly love but not the motherly love.

I'm confident that my husband won't remarry unless it's God's provision. So I'll leave some money for him (he's even the beneficiary of some of my properties) and some for my children with my husband as the custodian. Will also give some to my parents as a gratitude in bringing me up.

Worry but not so of stepmother bullying my children cause I have my sisters/parents (even my MIL) to watch after those "bullies".

Ann said...

KM - no problem...looking forward to reading about it!

Julie - when youa re driving, dont think such things! :) I think if we have God in the planning, ALL things will work out EXCELLENTLY! No need to worry...

andrewjune said...

i thk my hubby will take care of my girl girl and i know whatever i gv him, he will still gives back to my girl girl...:-)