I was sad. Not blue or moody or melancholic. But sad. Sad to the core of my being. Sad to the point where nothing else really mattered.
Thank God the bathroom was empty. I slumped to the bench and cried my heart out. There were no more tears to cry.
"Please God, take this hurt away."
"Please God, let me not rely on people to make me happy."
"Please God, give me peace."
I was in Form Six. I was not a Christian then.
From the bench where I sat, I looked up.
There was a little window in front of me.
And from that little window, I saw the cross.
The cross on the roof of the church beside my school.
And then a sense of peace enveloped me.
And a sense of warmth filled my soul.
There was no more room for sorrow, no more room for pain.
One defining moment - when God heard my cry and touched my soul!
My sense of excitement was marginal.
I was more anxious.
There was my graduation gown to collect. I wonder if they had indeed got my order and payment done. There was no reply from the email requesting confirmation that I had sent them.
I would be meeting my ex and his parents. They were "monsters"!
The 1 closest friend I wanted there with me was still in Australia. It's ok, I thought, there will be others. Sigh......but still....
I got my gown and walked around the hall taking photos with my family and other friends.
The parents were ushered in and we were lined up according to a list.
The speeches were short. I was not paying attention really! My excitement was heightening. Really because I was afriad I would trip on stage or that something or other would happen.
We were signalled to start the line. I watched one by one go up the stage. When it came to my turn, the speaker stopped. I looked at her. She didn't start the usual way of just mentioning my name.
Oh....it would seem that in the whole batch of Economics and Finance graduates who have gathered here today, I was the only one who passed with Distinction in my degree!!!!
They gave me no clue. I did not know. I was overjoyed. I was so overjoyed.
There was a sense of pride and confidence that I walked up to the stage then.
It was not a competition of winning or losing among peers.
It was only the joy of achievement for me.
We had to say our pledge then. A pledge to always uphold etc.etc. It may sound cheezy to some but I said it with all my heart.
One defining moment, the joy of an unexpected achievement. No other has ever come close to that feeling to date.
It is good to keep stock of moments in your life that made you happy and contented. It is good to read back and reflect upon these moments.
Knowing that life is good and bound to get better.
Have a good weekend everyone. Think of your defining moments and let me know if you have written a list of them in your blog!