Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Sensitive soul

Work has been horrendous. Something happened.

What would you do if you were told a friend was upset with you?
And what if you found out that she got upset with you for an action that you never did?
What would you do if you tried to explain, yet she didn't want to listen?
What would you do if she seemed to have given up on the friendship?
Would you give up too?

I wanted to send her an apology card. Becuase at the end of the day, it does not matter who was the one that was in the wrong. I just want the hurt to go away. But something stopped me. I wonder if it is pride. Or the fact that I believe if things are not talked out, it will never be totally resolved and we can never really move on.

I am so curious as to why she would have reached the conclusion she did.
How is it that out of the blue I can be 'accused' of an action with malicious intention that I have no idea about?

There are some people in my daily dealings with that I cannot seem to get along very well at all.
Makes me realise that hubby is more a people person than me.
He is a great friend and seems to get along with everyone.

Sometimes in moments of sadness, God does make us see the light in the situation.
There is always something to be thankful for.
But my colleague being upset with me hurts me alot.
And makes me a little angry too that a friend could think so ill of me.


Ling That's Me said...

try to have a talk with her as it will make you feel better

Pat said...

The most important thing is your conscience is clear.

I went through the same hurt last year, and desperately wanted the person to understand the truth. But I realized that this person has made a choice to believe someone else and not me, and there is not much that I can do about it.

In the end, I prayed to God, and He showed me that as long as my conscience is clear, I should learn to let it go.

Sometimes it still haunts me, but generally I had made peace with myself on this matter.

I hope this helps, will pray for you.

hissychick said...

It is this type of mind game nonsense that has led to me having more male than female friends over the years.

I am sorry that you have been placed in this distressing situation. If she is someone whose friendship you truly value then I would suggest finding some time and space to directly talk it out. If not...ignore it and don't engage. Don't add fuel to the fire.

Women can be so unnecessarily hurtful to each other and for no good reason. Sigh.

Take care xx

HI said...

My point of view is that if you had tried to explain but she won't listen, then there's nothing more you can do.

If she wants to give up on the friendship, I don't think there's much you can do about that.


andrewjune said...

i couldnt help but agree with HI...

well, if you make your day unhappy bcos of a will feel lousy everyday cos you'll be facing her! so might as well "expel" the bad things, and you will happy once again!

there might be times when friends ignore/unhappy with each other, but as time passes, those painful things will fade away and soon friendship will be amended...

Ann said...

Thanks all.
I think no one has ever hurt me as much as this friend has. And yes, prayer works.

And if she doesn't want to listed, there is really nothing much I can do about it.

June, this friend is in NY and I am in Malaysia. So, perhaps it helps/doens't help that she is so far away!

Got to agree, Hissychick, sometimes guy friends are so much better to have than girl friends!

mumsgather said...

If the friendship means a lot to you, you can write to her if talking did not work but don't send her an apology card if you have nothing to apologise about.

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Moomykin said...

Oh, I know how you feel.

I too used to be very upset by these kind of "nonsense", but over the years I have learnt to let go.

Friendships is a 2-way thing anyway.

Uncle Lee said...

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.

The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

Just live your life with no excuses, love with no regrets.
Life like friendship sometimes have its hiccups...let not worry worries you into a cough.
Your husband is the most important friend you have....

Best regards, Lee.

LittleLamb said...

Hope you are better now :)

Julie said...

Give her sometime then talk to her again. I hope you can mend this working relationship else it may be hard to communicate and get work done when both need each other's effort.

4malmal said...

It must hurt a lot to have a friend think of u that way.
I hope the misunderstanding will clear up soon.