Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Losing and gaining

No, it is not weight I am talking about....though it is somewhat correlated!

I lost it on Tuesday evening...

.....picked boyboy up from school at my usual 5 pm and as soon as he was sitted in properly, he started on and on about wanting to sit with me at the steering wheel. But I ignored his cries and just told him "mummy is driving. When we get home, you can sit here." His cries got on louder and louder and I was already driving at this point.

I was at the junction waiting to turn out when boyboy started squirming out of his car seat and kicking and crying. At this very moment, I was about to move in to the island in the middle before turning into my lane....when a fast car swerved out of the corner gaining quickly towards me.

I pressed on the petrol harder.....I still had to stop at the island.....and then slammed my brake harder when I reached the island.

All this while boyboy was trying me.....so I lost it.

I yelled at him to STOP THIS RIGHT NOW. JUST SHUT UP. MUMMY IS DRIVING!

Silence immediately. Sat really still. I don't know if he was shocked coz I was really busy driving. Drivers can be unforgiving in BU!

When I reached the traffic lights, it was red....thank God. I looked over at him and kissed him. And told him (again) "When mummy is driving, you cannot cry like that. Mummy cannot look at you and give you what you want....yadda yadda yadda...."

I lost it....and gained maybe 1 kg eating chocolates after that.
***
My son has 1 guitar, 1 keyboard and 1 drum set.....apart from the real piano he insists on tinkling on. And he would frequently ask me to strum the guitar (toy one) while he bang on his drums or play his keyboard and request that I "sing, sing, sing"!

And now, apart from the usual story book time before bed, in an effort to ellloonnnggaaatteee the night, he would request for me to sing songs to him.

So, it would Twinkle Star, Jesus Loves You, Itsy Bitsy Spider, Wheels on the Bus, ABC etc. He sings along when I sing Twinkle Star, ABC and Jesus Loves You.

And there he will lie, just beside me, slightly lower than me. So that when I am done and he is done....and we clap...and he looks up and I look down....and we start all over again.

But what a look....when he looks up and smiles at me and signals for me on to my "next" song.

It is pure joy .... angelic .....

And in that moment, hungry or not, I can sleep.....

10 comments:

reanaclaire said...

hi Ju Ann, i can imagine the scenerio, driving and pacifying a crying kid at the same time can be very very very stressed... well, once a while, we have to yell a bit otherwise kids think they can get what they want.. hahahaa.. its ok, not to feel guilty about, as long as we dont yell each time he does something not right...

have a nice day Ju Ann...

mumsgather said...

I am guilty of using the "SHUT UP!" word too often. :P

Cynthia said...

Ann... understand it's never easy to jaga anak while driving.. we get lagi grabah when they start crying.. "smack head"! but on the 2nd story, how sweet is your boy to sing along with you and signal for the next... :D

LittleLamb said...

so far Philip is still an angel in the car...... however i hv lost it at home when i scream n shout at him.."DONt touch", "NOooooooo" :(

anyway glad that Chris is requesting for u to sing, story tell b4 bed time. philip never asked once...he just play till sleep.

Irene said...

the word "shut up" is very common in my home too. blek! *guilty*

mommy to chumsy said...

i yell and scream all day.

*hangs head down in shame*

Angeline said...

*giggle*
probably that's why many says 'female drivers' are lousier.... cos my kids could be yelling and my hubby can drive without being affected... but I JUST CAN'T!!!

time before Zzzzz.... IS the most precious....

coffeesncookies said...

I shout 'POLICE !!!' and she'll quickly duck, I taught her police will catch children who are not seated at car seats !! hahaha

Sarah's Daddy and Mommy said...

I always tried to control my temper towards Sarah, but I still scream at her...sigh!

andrewjune said...

i guess you're not alone in this situation...
i sometimes lose my cool too!