Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Last night....

Sigh....another crying session tonight.

Christopher is at the stage where he is using his tears to get what he wants. Well....he has always done that actually but it is becoming irritatingly prominent of late.

I cannot give in when he starts to cry since it would only promote bad behaviour. I cannot discipline him when he cries since it would be useless anyway.

So, I let him cry it out. And try to reach a compromise.

It usually end up in he having to pick up all his toys first before he gets that biscuit or yogurt drink that he wanted. Or a "pleezzz" before he gets the show he wants or my laptop.

Last night, he wanted to watch some Youtubes on my laptop. As usual he started whinning in the whole process of asking me for it and waiting for me to start up the laptop.

(I hate whinning!)

So, I would usually be telling him to keep quiet and WAIT ! And he will follow after me...."wait, wait, wait" and keep quiet for a while.

Anyway....getting back to last night, I forgot last minute that I had some bills to pay so since I was booted up, I decided to pay one bill first.

OF COURSE.....then the crying started when he saw I was not going into Google Search. I told him to wait....mummy has to do one thing first then we will see his Head, Shoulder, Knees and Toes Youtube.

He went on and on "I want" and pointed to his head and toes.
And I went on and on telling him to Wait.
At last when I was done, sick and tired of his whinning, crying and "I want"s, I told him to say "please mummy".

In between sobs he said "pleezzz". No mummy.
So, I repeated to him that I wanted him to say "please mummy".
Again it was only a "pleezzz".

Sigh....gosh....to give in or not to give in?
Maybe under other circumstances, I would have given in. But I didn't last night.

Asked him to call "mummy"......followed by a "no no no".
I put the laptop one side and reasoned with him. Told him to call me again. Got more cries and whinning and "I want"s.
In the end, I picked up my crying child and sat him on my lap. Then I reasoned with him and rocked him.
Tired out due to the crying, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Was the lesson learnt? Should I have not insisted? Did he go to bed a sad boy last night? Mummy certainly did.

At what age do they start remembering unhappy incidents from their childhood? What could I have done differently? Maybe not paid my bill last night.
Note : This actually happened 2 nights ago. The lesson was learnt and learnt very well. Last night when he asked again, he straight away said "Mummy, pleezzz".


andrewjune said...

i'm also like you...i wont gv in easily like hubby...
usually i will let her cry then she will keep quiet after knowing i wont gv in *wicked ehhh?*

havent intro youtube to my daughter yet...maybe later.

Angeline said...

yeah... at least its working...

since my boys were 2years old, I told them, if they whine, I'm not going to talk to them... so since then, they hardly whine and they know that when they whine, mommy walks off... till the whining stops....

HI said...

Hehe...more to come. Kids this age has no patience. When they want something, they want it NOW!

Olivia still whines...in fact, her daddy still whines...LOL.

Sasha said...

stay consistent and u'll see the result. Its not easy but better train now before he is 3.

mumsgather said...

I hate whining too and I hate the word "I want!"

Pat said...

We're going through the same thing now with Cynthia - as what everyone mentioned, we just have to be firm. We don't want a spoilt kid later!

LittleLamb said...

i dont give in...
if i want to hear "pls mama" means pls mama...hehehehe

reanaclaire said...

so it pays to be patient..finally he achieved that.. great.. u r patient.. last time i was very impatient.. to stop whining, i gave in many times..

Julie said...

I don't give in easily most of the time but it depends on situation. I am strict to Jonathan on certain things only especially those that I set rules since day one, i.e. put his milk bottle in the kitchen sink after he finishes. There were instances he refused eventhough I caned him. I didn't give in too! I will always explain and reason to him after all incidents.

Sometime I feel guilty too for being too hard on him. But better to teach him now than too late. They are never too young to learn.

I don't think at his age now, he can remember happy or unhappy incidents. Even I myself can't remember what happened between 5 years since I was born.

Ann, not to put too much stress on yourself. Always pray to God for wisdom in bringing up our children.

Cynthia said...

Chris learned.. and I am sure it will keep in his mind to say pleezz mummy.. but not the unhappy part.. no worry..

Moomykin said...

Discipline is one of the hardest part with the kid you love, but you know it needs to be done.

Max is also a whiner. So I usually will have to tell him to "ask/talk nicely, and properly." He is still in progress, so we are still working on it.

coffeesncookies said...

the issue changed. from asking to watch youtube to 'please mummy'. It always ends up like this for me too. Inadvertantly, both of us get upset (me & her) coz she don't want to say something or do something to get what she wants, I get mad, she don't understand why I'm mad, gets madder and it goes round and round till no end. Geesh ! Sometimes I give in, just to get out of the situation but I know I really shouldn't.

Sarah's Daddy and Mommy said...

Christopher also like watching video from You Tube? Same goes to my girl.

Sometimes I also do not know when to tolerate or give in whenever Sarah throwing tantrum...