Monday, August 10, 2009

Set an amount to love yourself

Ever since I was young, I have been taught to save.

My mum told me that in the early years, every last penny of their pay went to petrol and food. Yet as the years went by and my father got promoted, we got to learn the piano and take mandarin classes. We did not have any holidays save for the ones during festive seasons to visit my grandparents.

As I grew up, I learnt to save more than I was used to spending. We brought food from home and a tumbler of water so there was no need to buy food at the school canteen. In fact, thinking back, I don't remember ever spending much in school. Most of our weekly allowance was put in the bank.

When I was about to go to college, dad opened a joint savings account with me. I held the ATM/teller card and he held the book. Even then, I only allowed myself RM70 per week for food and any other miscellanous things I needed. I found I could survive on RM50.

When I was in Australia, I applied the same concept. Making withdrawals only once a week for the amount needed.

The friends I hanged out with were not party goers nor lavish spenders, so we coexisted well enough. And when they went to expensive restaurants, I tended to stay home instead. Not totally becuase I did not want to spend but also because I prefered to curl up at home with my book.

You can imagine I did well enough in my studies! :)

Till today, I have no problems saving. Thank God for my mum's training. I still live by portioning out my expenditure instead of putting aside savings. Force savings don't mean much to me.

In fact when I started working, my dad used to tell me that I need to learn how to spend on myself. The strange thing about my whole family is that we are alright spending on someone else within the family but not on ourselves.

I have realised that the concept of "loving yourself" does not work very well with us. And that can be a bad thing sometimes. Lack of love for yourself could result in unmet expectations (when you expect it from the other person instead) as well as emotional and physical tiredness (when you don't learn to relax).

My colleague and I were discussing something the other day. She was thinking of joining a club, membership fee about RM100 per month so that she could take the kids swimming during the weekend, as a recreational activity. However, her hubby suggested that instead of joining a club and finding that you may not even be able to go some months, why not just book into a hotel every 2-3 months and really utilise the hotel's (cleaner and better) facilities then? Meaning they will allocate RM1,200 per year for hotel (min 4 star) visits with the kids, to swim, relax and enjoy themselves.

So, here is my take. From now on, as long as I am working, maybe I will allocate RM1k per year to really love myself (i.e stay in a hotel).

Say only....don't know if I can do it! hahaha.....

How about you? Are you a spender or a saver? How do you love yourself?

17 comments:

mumsgather said...

I don't spend on myself very much. Usually we spend on the kids. However, I totally agree with you that its ok to reward and pamper ourselves every once in a while.

Angeline said...

Becos of lack of love received from my family...I had learn to love myself dearly a long time ago...

how do I love myself? sleep and eat chocolate!!! Oooo.... I'm just so easy to please.... *laugh*

HI said...

That's a good concept. I'm a saver and hardly spend on myself. I'm very frugal on myself but I will spend on hubby and Olivia.

Perhaps I should love myself more. :)

mommy to chumsy said...

hehehehe...i am a saver but my other half is a spender :D i think i should learn to love myself more :D

Mummy Gwen said...

I like your approach. :) I am in between but I think I'm quite frugal too. I spend more on my girl..hehe..but Hubby's money lah. :P

LittleLamb said...

My mom taught me to love myself..things like going to facial and looking good...she said its one of the key factors wor... thus, every month i will pamper myself. when i had more money, its every week. I used to think of others..but have slowly think for myself...

Serene said...

Hi Ann, my first time visiting your blog.

Well, I'm in between spender and saver. But I spend more on my girl nowadays.

~dolly~ said...

hi.. just dropping by.
I am a saver i think..
But i am willing to spent on friends that i think worth for example expensive birthday present.

Moomykin said...

I like that idea of spending money on self.

I too actually love to lavish on others, but rarely on myself.

So I do use up quite a bit of money, but it goes mostly to gifts, snacks for the kids, and sometimes the teachers too.The best I do is a nice breakfast with my sister in the mornings the boys are in school...

My obsession now (for a more than a year now) is packing party packs/goody bags and what I can put in them.
Eeps.

zewt said...

i think we have all been taught that spending is a way of loving oneself. or should i say, that is the trend moving forward...

andrewjune said...

lately, i've been spending a lot...not only on myself, but i also spend for hubby, daughter & my parents as well!
i thk i've overspent sometimes but when i see others being happy when i spent a lil for them, it absolutely makes my day!

Daddy Parenting Tips said...

RM1000 per year? With inflation, that's going to be not so much love :) Recently I even forced myself to love myself by signing up for a RM1200 facial package that I don't use in Malaysia. But that is making me travel back more often ... in the future, maybe every 2 months.

http://daddyparentingtips.blogspot.com

coffeesncookies said...

My mom taught us to save & recycle too coz we never did have enough money to splurge. I worked and saved for night classess, graduated and then I splurged on myself coz there were so many things lacking in my growing up years, nice clothes, trips etc. However it all changed when I had my baby, every sen saved will be for her future and our retirement. I buy clothes for her but hardly for myself. Should I pamper myself more ?

Julie said...

My mom thought me to save but I never learnt from her. Haha...I'm a sparingly spender more than a saver.

How do I love myself? Never really thought of that. Good question to ponder upon.

Linda said...

I am not a big spender which makes me a natural saver I guess... :)
But I like to pamper myself on food, travelling, or just relax and spending time with my family n kids... 100% satisfaction...
We never have a real honeymoon, all my travel with hubby before and after the arrival of our kids always involved his work.

Big Pumpkin said...

All my blog money goes to spending on myself :-) The Hubs takes care of everything else that is important.

Debbie Y said...

I can be a good saver when I'm single. After married, I've becoming a good spender to buy all sort of stuff for my kiddos.

You are right, guess we really have to learn to love ourselve. Hmm...