Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Sickness takes its toll

I understand now the importance of taking care of myself first before I can take care of anyone else.

I had a bad sorethroat Tuesday night. Really bad in that I couldn't even speak or sleep! I was sucking strepsils, sweets, guggling with Listerine, drinking honey, drinking water etc. When girl girl woke up and couldn't fall back asleep, I couldn't even sing her to sleep.

Worse still was the raspy breathing of Christopher beside me making me worried and awake. An occasional cough from boy boy and also hubby. Sigh....

Was going through in my head what I need to boil tommorrow. And the fact that I could not drink Hor Yan Ho because Caylee doesn't take too well to tea in her breastmilk!

The next day was worse. Thank God hubby took paternity leave. I decided to keep Christopher at home as well. Went to the doctor and got some presrcibed medicine for myself and boyboy.

Wednesday was such a bad day. I was feverish. Hubby was warm sitting under the fan while I was sitting as far as I can and was still shivering.

Worse still was that I had to take care of Christopher while hubby took care of girl girl.

All I wanted to do was to crawl under the covers. But I had to play 'car' with Christopher and watch TV with him.

Antibiotics helped clear my throat which was the worse of the pain. Runny nose at least I can manage since it doesn't cause pain, just inconvinience.

Christopher looks better. But now Caylee is down with a flu.

I really have to eat well and exercise and take care of myself. Else I cannot take care of hubby or the kidlets at all!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

It makes it all worthwhile

I was rocking Caylee desperately to sleep.
It was pass 1 am.
And I was so tired I was nearly crying.
I kept telling Caylee over and over again:
"Close your eyes baby girl. Go to sleep please."

Then in the stillness of the night.

A head turned and a voice called out.

"Go to sleep Caylee. Don't disturb mummy."

And then

"Mummy, I love you."

Then Christopher turned and went back to sleep.

By the way, my previous post on my mum was an emotional post for me. At the end of the day I know she just wants the best for me. Her tiredness and raw emotions just brought out the worse words. And I don't take it as well as I should have learnt to! :)

Monday, May 17, 2010

I just kept quiet

I was hoping for some relief when my parents came down last Saturday. Was hoping to go to cell group and do some shopping.


When I came back from my 1 hour grocery shopping, my mum thrusted the baby back to me proclaiming "She's so difficult to take care. Always crying. Don't know what she wants. So bad tempered!"

I took Caylee in my arms and settled her down. She is surprisingly picky for her age. She seems to know where she is being put down and selectively decides that she doesn't want to sleep there.

She quietened down when I held her and after a suck or two at the pacifier fell asleep.

"She must be looking for you! That's the price you pay for breastfeeding her! You have made her so attached to you."

"If she is so difficult and always look for you, don't hope to have any holidays and leave her with me. If she is so difficult no babysitter will take care of her! You better not put her to your breast. Just pump out."

All I can do was to keep quiet. But deep inside I was crying buckets.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I want to escape

I want to escape to a place such as this.
Where tranquility rules
And thoughts can run undistrubed
And emotions become intensified
Where connection is meaningful
And reaching out to God is easy
And peace reigns in your soul
I want to escape to this place
The logical part of me is thinking:
Lots of empty space for Christopher to run and tire himself out
No distractions so maybe hubby and I can have some quality time
And maybe the peace will invade in Caylee and she will sleep longer hours
No harm dreaming.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Gift for Christopher

Received a gift from blogger mum Rachel the other day! Her courier guy came at such a right time - the night I was left alone with both kids!

So, I had some peace as Christopher opened the package and busied himself looking at all the stickers! All I had to do was look up and nod excitedly at his excited remarks on all the cars (from Cars) and trains (Thomas that is)! Unfortunately I didn't manage to take any photos given my hands were busy.

So....thanks Rachel for the excellent timing!!! :)

And other things he has been up to?

Helping my mum wash vege

Enjoying his pizza when my mum got tired of cooking

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Mothers' Day 2010

My confinement has ended
and the fullmoon packages distributed.
My parents have also left.
Its now just the 4 of us under the same roof
having to cope with each other.
Today is also Mothers' Day.
There are alot of changes happening
that requires me to rethink my way of life.
I am now a mother of 2 kids.

I have a son who is getting used to the fact that mummy doesn't go out with him all the time now. And thus he 'loves me less' in that I am no longer there bringing him out for fun. When he is at home, he sometimes acts up and so mummy seems to always be disciplining him without balancing it with having fun. I make it a point to put him to bed so that we can spend some quiet time together. But then that also makes me the one who has to stop him sucking his thumb.

I have a daughter who still doesn't require that much attention at 1 month. She has her tummy upsets sometimes which require me to carry and comfort her for 1-2 hours until she farts or poops. And she still drinks very often so in between I find myself forever sterilisng bottles although we have 7 available. And of course I am trying to increase my milk supply so that means more expressing or suckling time.

And then there is hubby.....

He is getting nagged alot because I have not got used to the extra work yet.
And now I can't afford him to spend so much time in the toilet.
Or busy cleaning when the the boy is awake.
We go to bed at different times now.
And I spend most of my time handling the kids rather than talking to him.

And then there's our food.....
Our caterer decided to call it quits. So I had to source for another caterer. And the food this new caterer gives is wide in variety but seems suitable only for adults. So, this means I would have to cook for boyboy on a daily basis now. I will be starting to do this next week which means I have to start planning menus and buying raw food.

I am not sure how things will be when I start working. It looks like right now I will be the one who has to drop girlgirl at the nanny, go to work, after work come back to cook, pick boyboy, pick girlgirl and then feed boyboy. Hopefully hubby will be back by then to bathe boyboy before he gets to eat dinner.

And ironing hubby's clothings will be outsourced. Although I think I may be able to do it during the weekend. I feel that if I have the time, I should spend it resting or talking to hubby. But house cleaning we still can't outsource because it would be hard to clean the house with the kids awake and it inconvinient if they are asleep. about change. I don't like the uncertainty of change. I am a planner and find the lack of routine a bit discomforting. So, with my parents gone, today is the day I start putting my cooking routine in order. And then it would be the dropping off kids routine to deal with when I start working.

Happy Mothers' Day to YOU,
the hand that rocks the cradle!

My little quirk !
I am such a planner and sucker for routine that I have to wash my towels every Saturday and all the beddings every other Sunday. And my sheets have to be put back in the cupboard such that the master bedsheet has to be bundled with all the required number of pillow and bolster cases. it was so stressful when my mum changed my entire washing routine and cupboards! But I have put that back in order the minute their car drove off!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Starting the celebration early

Yeah ! This is my final week.

I have stopped wearing the sarong to cover my legs and resorted to 3 quart pants. Also started sitting under a full blast fan and washing more and more bottles and bathing boyboy. They always say the final lap is the time you almost give up....and in my case my mum has given in! :)

Hope the repercussions are not too great! My mum is way too tired to stop me from helping her.

So, anyway, in the mode for celebrating, hubby and I decided to exchange our birthday gifts last weekend. Of course my freedom was limited so hubby did all the shopping. I just reimbursed him for his gift.

(no, it was not our bdays yet but.....)

This is what I got him.....

And this is what he got me...

I actually asked him for this particular gift to put all my trinklets and hair clips. It wasn't that easy to find and we both surfed the net for a couple of weeks and got disappointed a couple of times. My requirements were quite strict!

At any rate, boyboy is enjoying both our gifts as well. Daddy's new E72 can play his Barney and mummy's drawers hold treasures beyond his imagination!

And of course, this Friday is also Caylee's fullmoon. So, I was busy surfing for a nice fullmoon package and making the orders.

Right now I am also surfing baby wearing to see if it is something I can do.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

On taking care of detail

It's a minuet business taking care of a minuet 'creature'.

In my previous post, I 'complained' mainly about Caylee's eratic drinking timing. Realised today its not so eratic after all. She is drinking the amount as per the milk box recommended. Only that she has a tiny tummy so she can't take 4 ounces all at once every 4 hours but 2 ounces every 2 hours.

However, one thing about Caylee is: 1) She doesn't burb. and 2) She seems to have tummy aches.

Our carrying her is often to comfort her when she frowns at a pain that must be wrecking her body. He tummy hardens and she frowns and cries. And it comes at intervals.....which is why we have all deduced it must be tummy aches - either due to wanting to poop or wind!

Either way, we are all happier when she poops. And frankly I never knew a baby who farts as loudly and often as she does.

Now....if only she could burp. Christopher was a GREAT burper, 2-3 min after his feed. This girl can go to sleep and wake up 1 hour later to burp!

But oh...what a satisfying sigh she emits when she does burp, fart or poop! Reckon as long as the wind gets out of the system!