Monday, May 17, 2010

I just kept quiet

I was hoping for some relief when my parents came down last Saturday. Was hoping to go to cell group and do some shopping.


When I came back from my 1 hour grocery shopping, my mum thrusted the baby back to me proclaiming "She's so difficult to take care. Always crying. Don't know what she wants. So bad tempered!"

I took Caylee in my arms and settled her down. She is surprisingly picky for her age. She seems to know where she is being put down and selectively decides that she doesn't want to sleep there.

She quietened down when I held her and after a suck or two at the pacifier fell asleep.

"She must be looking for you! That's the price you pay for breastfeeding her! You have made her so attached to you."

"If she is so difficult and always look for you, don't hope to have any holidays and leave her with me. If she is so difficult no babysitter will take care of her! You better not put her to your breast. Just pump out."

All I can do was to keep quiet. But deep inside I was crying buckets.


mNhL said...

So sorry to hear that. Sometimes, it really hurt when our own relative complaint and comment. Be strong and do whatever you think it is the best for your child. It is just a phase and soon, baby will be in her toddler age. Hang on there.

MeRy said...

Sad to hear that...Tkcare.

Mummy Gwen said...

Don't be discouraged ya. Things will be better soon. Take care.

smallkucing said...

Ya..dont be discourage.

Babies are like that.

I remembered when my boy was having colic, and MIL commented on it. Said none of her other grandchidren ever had colic. why this one have colic. said could be due to the DOM or Chic essence that I took.I was hurt too.

Very soon Caylee will be a bubbly toddler.

Stay strong

eugene said...

I have gone through it a few times but it made me stronger a father and that also yielded a stroger bond between me and my boys, i believe sometimes God has always got good intention for us.

God bless

Mummy-yeoh said...

Dont be discourage. Just do what is best for Caylee. Focus on God whenever things get rough. Take care

Debbie Y said...

Yeah...don't worry. Thing will be getting better.

hissychick said...

What the...?

Sorry to hear that there are intergenerational issues going on. Just remember though that you are Caylee's mother, you know what is best for her and of course a tiny baby is going to want you and especially if she is colicky. An hour with an unsettled baby isn't the end of the world and certainly not justification to end breastfeeding.

(What would your mother make of my minimum one year no bottles approach?!)

Take care xx

coffeesncookies said...

it's okay... she's your baby and very soon, she'll be toddling and running. She may be having seperation anxiety but slowly and give both of you time, you'll cope.
Mine was horrid at one stage too, when I sent her to a nanny at 2.5months old, she cried and fussed whole day. Nanny wanted to 'raise white flag' and quit on me on 1st day. She had to apply 'yoko yoko' all over her arms carrying and rocking whole day. Luckily she persevered, did not give up and Amber slowly accepted her. Now,she's no longer caring for Amber but they have a very close relationship.

mumsgather said...

Don't be discouraged Ann, remember that you are doing the best for your bb by breastfeeding her. She'll outgrow this phase and you'll forget this soon enough but the bond between you and your bb will last forever.

Irene said...

just gotta hang on yeah. sometimes my mom said hurtful things to me too. they are just not comfortable with things, tats why they say what they say. sometimes we do tat do isn't it? take care

Julie said...

Yeah, don't be discouraged. This is a common comment from those old folks who don't understand breastfeeding. My mom uttered those words before. I believe your mom don't mean what she said. It came out from their mouth because the fussy baby had gone over their limit.

Samantha is very attached to my breast. She can only fall asleep easily when she suck from my breast. She totally rejected pacifier. Now I am so worry that MIL can't soothe her to sleep once I started work.

Baby Darren said...

Ann, seems like we are facing EXACTLY the same problem - colicky baby, exactly the same comments from my family and our tired self.

Just think what is best for yourself. I insisted of b/f directly too but when she always cry till i couldn't differentiate her cry is either crying for comfort or milk, i decided to pump feed. When I feed her enough, when she cry, at least i know she is not crying for milk. So through pump feed, she still get your breast milk and she starts to establish a routine. There is no routine with direct b/f.

Even with pump feed, I know how much she drinks, how much milk i yield in a day and anyone can feed my baby. She still wants my breast. I'll only do direct whenever I want to and when she is feeling uncomfortable.

Unless the baby is an easy baby. You can go direct. When your baby is difficult (like Isabel), I think pump feed will reduce a lot of stress for the mother.

Your mother is not wrong. She wants the best for you too. Maybe the words she used is a bit harsh but she meant good.

Ask yourself whether u can still manage the current situation or not. If yes, then no need to think of what other people said and continue what you are doing. If not, can consider pump feed.

Either direct or pump feed, she still get the breast milk you gave her. But make sure, you must continuously pump 3 to 4 times a day. Or else, your milk will fast dry out. Actually when u are tired or stress, ur milk will reduce too.

I have been pump feed Isabel for about 1 milk supply has been stable. But now I've started Isabel on my own and lack of rest, i can see my milk supply has dropped tremedously.

p/s: Always wanted to give u a call but afraid u are not free. Let me know if it is ok for me to call. Maybe one of the weekday morning. Support is very important at this stage.

Mummy Moon said...

Be patient.. when baby grows older, they are more easy to take care.

mommy to chumsy said...

*hugs* It hurts to hear all those remarks but don't give up. The first 3 months are usually pretty tough. Things will get better soon.