I find I am frequently doing this since my son turned 2.
In the late of the night, I would stroke his hair and pray for him. And pray for myself that I would have the wisdom to bring him up to be a sensible boy, a lovable boy and most importantly a boy after the heart of our Father.
It always happens in the late of the night. Mostly coz I cannot fall asleep after (usually) an incident that had just happened before we retired for bed.
Last night, it was because I whacked him for shouting back at me when I told him to pick up his toys. He has been very rude for the pass few days and last night was the final warning. Then he shouted back at me that he doesn't want me anymore and that he wants his grandparents. For which I nearly threw him out of the door to go look for his grandparents.
Of course he cried. And of course he put away his toys while crying. And of course after that I hugged him and spend some time with him.
But then when it was time to sleep, he sat in the corner sulking, asking me to go away coz I always scold him. He wants daddy to put him to bed. For which of course I didn't give in. And he grudgingly brushed his teeth and changed into his PJs at my count of 3. He fell asleep by himself while I was brushing my teeth.
With the 2 kids asleep, hubby and I discussed the best way to discipline our son. It is harder coz with Caylee around, we cannot always give him the attention he desires. Yet, that isn't an excuse for shouting back at his parents.
And Caylee reacts very badly to loud voices or to her kor kor crying. She will also cry in empathy until she is out of breath.
Sometime when it happens and someone else is dealing with Caylee, I can at least look him in the eye and talk quietly but sternly to him until he does what is requried of him.
But when I am holding Caylee, and the situation is in dire need of remedy and he totally ignores me and shouts back at me.....oooohhhhh.....
I am thinking in my head consistency in punishment and not emotional punishment. But sometimes it is so hard not to react when both kids push you to the limit, and you are all alone, to reign in that irritation threatening to explode in your face.
Give me wisdom.
Give me patience.
Give me understanding.