I was reading my previous posts on Christopher today.
His coming of three years somehow marks a significant difference to me - He seems to have suddenly grown up.
So it made me think back and thus read what I have been blogging about Christopher in the pass year. To check if the change I am experiencing about him has been gradual or really as sudden as I am feeling it.
I shall relate an incident to you. This incident happened at sunday school.
As usual, for the younger kids' class, when the lessons and the singing is over, the teacher lets the kids (and parents) do their own stuff - eat, play or just hang around. However, this week, one of the teachers decided to bring some McD freeby toys for the kids to play. She commented that she did bring some boys' toys but it seemed to have gone missing. So, most of the toys were girly in nature.
My son however, managed to find one aeroplane which he picked up straight away and came to show me. Mind you, he loves his vehicles. We played with it for a while slightly a distance from the pile of other toys. After some minutes, my son puts down the aeroplane. I am not sure why. Mind you, he left the aeroplane VERY NEAR to himself.
But here comes another mummy who has a son who was without a toy. She spots the aeroplane and decides to take it for her son to play. I was turned the other way talking to another mum. She picks up the plane and asks if she can have it.
My son, who is still sitting beside the aeroplane notices that an aunty has picked up the aeroplane. He looks (actually glares) at her and doesn't answer when she asks if she can take it.
I notice the aeroplane being taken away before my son could answer.
I decide to intervene in the situation and ask my son to allow aunty to take it. I go on and on about sharing and let's look for something else to play.
He looks at me and says "no. I don't want mummy. I want my aeroplane".
Now....if you were the aunty, what would you do ?
Anyway....this aunty still holds on to the aeroplane and says "Can lah. Share lah. Aunty play for a while lah."
And then my son BAWLS !!!!
Of course, I tell him "share ok boyboy. let your friend play also ok. never mind lah, mummy give you biscuit."
I was also trying to stop him from crying.
The aunty does nothing. She is still holding the aeroplane.
After a while my son starts to throw a tantrum of course. Coz he did say no and he does want to play with the aeroplane. And geez....he loves aeroplanes! So....no, he doesn't want to give in. And he doesn't want to share this aeroplane.
After a while when it seems my son is adamant about not sharing and is still crying.....the aunty says "hai, never mind lah. ok lah, don't want already. give you back lah."
I see her put the aeroplane on the floor. My back is to her the whole time since I am facing my son. I ask my son to get up and walk him to the other room.
He follows, crying of course.
In the other room, I talk to him. I tell him that the aeroplane does not belong to him so if he wants to play with something else, he has to let other people play with the aeroplane. And of course I tell him to share. And also that if I ask him to stop crying, he has to stop.
To my surprise, he says "Sorry mummy." And then when I ask him if he understands, he says "yes, I understand."
I give him a drink of water. Then I hug him. Then I ask him to do the worse thing.....I ask him to go to the other room and give the aunty the aeroplane and say sorry. (Although part of me wishes to tell the aunty off instead!)
And he does go over and says sorry to the aunty. The toys are already kept away so we couldn't give the aunty's son the aeroplane to play.
After that my son sits quietly eating his biscuits while I continue to chat with the other mums.
At night while I was putting him to bed, he told me "Mummy, I am sorry for being naughty." Then he hugged me.
I felt my eyes mist up. I have a good boy, I do. No matter how difficult he gets sometimes, I know I have a good boy.
Remembering the good in him even when he is at his worst.....