Of late, I have been wanting to break free. The mundane chores of daily living has been taking a toll.
Added to this is Christopher's recent acting up. For the first time I can say my little boy is breaking my heart EVERY day. And a hug doesn't mend it as quickly. He is at the stage of defiance to the core. Shouting back, talking back, purposely not doing what he has been asked to do, hitting me, demanding things, throwing tantrums (which usually end up with him on the floor). It really saddens my heart. And I have questioned if his behaviour is my doing.
But it doesn't do me or him or anyone any good if I were to brood on this question. I have done my best with him in the pass 3+ years. Of coruse I have made mistakes. But I need to learn from them and better my parenting ways. The road of parenting will not get any easier. So, I hold back my tears, harden my heart and get down to business. Christopher will be going through a tough lesson of R-E-S-P-E-C-T until he GETS IT!
Pray for me. I cannot do this alone.
As for Caylee, sigh......nanny has been complaining about her alot these days. A sick baby with teeth sprouting is not easy to face daily. Although she is getting MUCH better now, she is still super clingy to the nanny. And worse of all she doesn't allow anyone to carry her. Only 2 other females in the house so far can replace my nanny for a few minutes. I can understand her frustration coz there are chores to be done in the house that she cannot do due to Caylee. But it does affect me when she makes claims that she has never had to take care of so difficult a child before. Sigh.....
My 2 kids sure have strong characters!
And my colleague is planning a holiday to Maldives. And showing me pics of the Conrad/Hilton hotel she will be staying. Makes me feel like I want to be a piece of her luggage!
In a time like this, I feel so much like escaping for a while. But I can't.
And so my escape is through a big black book and a smaller purple one. The Bible and my journal. May the Lord so enlighten and equip me to face my greater purpose in life.