Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I gave my optometrist a hard time!

I have had a long term affair with spectacles. The first time I put on my glasses, I was in Standard 4 with a degree of 300+. I remember taking DAYS to get accustomed to the slanting floor and the sharpness of dust particles in the sunlight surrounding me. My parents said that confirmed I was short sighted when they asked me to look at the birds (they were supposedly colourful) on the telephone pole. And I was like "where??" has been years. Now, if ever I take off my glasses, I feel a little naked and a lot insecure. During my wedding day when I got myself contacts, I found myself subconciously reaching up to 'fix' my glasses only to find myself grasping air instead.

Anyways back to the point.

I went to visit my favourite optometrist tonight. More coz Caylee broke the bridge rest of my specs and I had to have it changed. And since we were there, decided to test my eye sight. Of late my power has been steadily decreasing. So, my fear to get my eyes checked has turned into slight anticipation.

Went through the motions of answering "which is clearer? the 1st or the 2nd? the 3rd or the 4th? etc."
For the life of me, they looked all the same to me. So I kept giving the poor guy half hearted answers. And he sounded so incredulous asking me "Are you sure? Let's do that again. Ask me to repeat if you are not sure, ok". So, I sensed something was amiss.

And this was just for my right eye. We haven't even done my left!

Sometimes in between, he even told me "You are trying too hard! Don't overthink it. Just look at tell me."

"Close your eyes and relax. Just look and decide. Don't have to think so hard!".

At this point I was actually laughing and really felt sorry for him. I reckon after some 15 minutes, he gave up on my right eye and did my left. At least my left eye gave more consistent results!

In the end, he told me that for my right he was giving me a difference of up to 100 points and I was still telling him there is no difference! How can that be so? Poor fella....truthfully, there really wasn't much difference! the end he put my current specs on. Put a reduction lens of 50 in front of me and WOW....what a difference. It was like a burden has been taken off my eyes. Things were so much clearer and so much easier to see.

Thinking of it now, I should have asked him to put a 100 reduction to see if things were even clearer! But I reckon that would be too sudden a drop.

His final word to me was "I think your eyes have learnt to accommodate too much. I am wondering if you were ever wrongly diagnosed a prescription."

Well, I wonder myself. But at least I know I am in good hands now. Thank you Mr. Edmund. So, to all my 4 eyed friends......if ever you want a good optometrist, head over to Bond Eyecare in SS2 and Mr. Edmund and his lovely wife will attend to your needs.

So, I will start my new year with new eyes, framed in brown. Seems that is the only colour that makes me look 'prettier'! :)

Have a happy new year one and all. Look with your eyes but see with your heart.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Year End Cleaning

I had only one plan - to wipe all the fans in the house. But oh! what a plan it turned out to be.

Brought the ladder to the master bedroom one evening after work. Prepared the cloth and a pail of water. Climbed the ladder till step 3 and looked up! GOSH! The fan still looked so far away. Took another tentative step up and staright away came down. Spent a few minutes trying to motivate myself.

"One more step, it won't be that bad."
"At most, you just jump down on the bed."
"It's a won't fall down."

No words of motivation helped.

In the end I took everything back downstairs. Tried the downstairs fan. OK....only require me to go up to Step 4. I can do this.

And I did.

Cleaned the lights and fan in the living room one evening.
Cleaned the dining and kitchen fan and lights another evening.

You see....I don't have to cook so my evenings are relatively free-er!

After comfortably going up and down 4 steps of the ladder, I thought I would be ok with Step 5 and attempted the master bedroom again.

Gosh....I am beginning to curse my high ceilings. Or that fact that I did not lower the fan!

I had to climb up to Step 6 on the ladder and even then I had to strain my hands and look up to clean the idiotic 5 blade fan.

And when you are up there, the walls sure looks dirty too!

So, as of Day 3, I have cleaned the sliding balcony door, all fans (except the other roon upstairs which is HIGHER than the master room), changed the master and living room curtains and mopped all the floors.

Before the day is through I need to at least wipe the walls a little bit and some furniture. Then for once at least I can say I am 80% satisfied with the house cleanliness.

Was just telling my colleague that day that there is always SOMETHING requiring cleaning in the house. I am never truly satisfied that nothing else requires to be done.

That's a house for you! I need some sweet sweet refreshingly cold juice now.

Sunday, December 18, 2011


Christopher is a very sweet boy. My mum always comments that it makes taking care of him such a pleasure.

Just that day, we were at IPC and they had a craft session FOC. So, I sat with him to make a felt flower craft. And when it was done, I asked him who he will be giving this gift to? Without a moment's hesitation, it was 'Por por'! a mum, I don't mind at all. He gives me enough hugs every night. :)

He eats much better now. Ever since I started the no TV, eat at the dining table rule. He still fidgets alot having to sit at the dining table, but he is getting there. Still eats about half the meal on his own and then requests that someone feed him. Still tries to talk in between bites and then forgets to swallow. He has a bad habit of biting....then talking....then biting again. swallowing in between except for his saliva. Thus he sometimes requires water to swallow when the food gets too dry. I never knew there was a art to eating till Christopher!

He is 100% toilet trained, I would say since 5 months back, when I started 'complaining' that he would wake (only) me up to open the bathroom door for him. The door knob is kinda weird so I accept that he cannot open it yet in his urgency.

Still LOVES his vehicles. He especially loves to line them all up and pretend it is a car park/airport/traffic jam etc.

Reading is improving as well as writing. Doing some work with him everyday so he accepts it as routine to work with mummy.

Loves his cartoons though can't really sit through a cartoon movie.

Sleep time is 10.30 for him after his daily PowerPuff girls. I don't see his attraction to that cartoon....but there really isn't anything else bettter at that time.

So anyways, he will be going off to Ipoh later today. He has one more week of day care left before the holidays. So, instead of my parents moving up and down so soon, they have decided to take him home with them.

I will miss my son this Christmas. I hope he will have a swell time in Ipoh with my parents.

More love and affection adn time for Caylee, who I reckon has it lacking, being #2. Maybe will bring her to the nearest beach. Have a blessed Christmas everyone!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


What an experience. Now, I can look back at it and call it an experience.

I fainted in the bathroom on Tuesday morning, 13th of December.

Since the Malacca trip, I was already feeling a little at odds. Did not have much of an appetite. Slept badly. Overtired and overstressed. The kids have been fighting bloody wars.

Had a bad headache and a vomitting spell Sunday evening on the way back from Malacca. Dismissed it as hungry and ate some food. Felt better.

The feelings came back on Monday evening. Was on the way to the airport to pick up my parents. All the way in a half way crouch while holding on to the girl.

By the time we reached home, I was down with a fever and severe abdomenal pains. Crawled to bed after a milo. Spent the early part of the night asking hubby to sponge me down while I curled up shivering. It was terrible.

Slept at last.

The next morning, I thought I was alright, though still a little uncomfortable. Went to the toilet to get ready for work. The minute I opened the toothpaste, the mint smell made me sick. I literally felt a coldness sweep through me. Put back the toothpaste and toothbrush and was about the return to bed. And that was the last thing I remembered.

The next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and was wondering where am I? Why is the surface so hard. Why does my neck and head hurt? Why is there a beam over my head? Then I remembered.

I tried to sit up. After a few minutes, it was total blackness again and I lay myself down.

I think I attempted this a few times but I could never sit up.

Who found me? Christopher. He had come to relieve himself. And insisted on doing so first before he went to call daddy. Then he woke up the entire household as well exclaiming "Mummy fainted!"

When daddy came, he told me to get up and get to bed. But I could only faintly hear him. I was sitted up at that time and just lay down on the floor. Who cares about the dirty rag on the bathroom floor!

Well, he half carried me to bed and I just lay there for a good few minutes. Took some ribena and oats and felt slightly better.

2 days now and my abdomen still hurts. When I try to do something vigourous, I still feel light headed. My neck and head hurts like mad where I must have hit when I fainted. Had to resort to pain killers and muscle relaxants.

It was a good thing I did not hit my head on the toilet bowl or anything. I have never fainted thus far and till today I am wondering what was the real trigger of my downfall.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I am glad I still cry....

I asked a simple question in my head one day. It was a gloomy day that day, in my heart and mind. I saw people around me achieving so much more than me. Going places, gaining experiences, experiencing fine things, trying new things, getting rewards, basking in short just having it better than me.

I tried to seek consolation in that perhaps I am a good mum. But my kids were ruder than her's. I tried to find an identity, a role, anything that I can take solace in. And all that came to mind was "You are a child of God".

And still the question came easily to my mind "Is it (really) enough just being a child of God?"

If you never had to question yourself, your existence and your worth, that's great. It ain't fun at all working through such emotions. But I am glad I still cry.

God is seeing me through this. Only God can. And I can say with an outstanding 'YES' that indeed being a child of God is not only enough but the only identity I want to relate myself to.

God has seen me through 2 incidents which I want to remember.

When friends fail not only to lend a hand but they turn away from you.
Matthew 26:36-45 tells us about the time just before Jesus was betrayed. He asked his disciples to keep watch with Him. 2 times Jesus came back to find His disciples sleeping. Yet at the end of the day, Jesus was a comfort to his disciples. And He could be a comfort because He had an endless well of comfort given to Him. As a child of God, we can reach that stage where we can continuously draw comfort. That we may always be a comfort to everyone else. God gives us all the help and all the acceptance and all the friendship we will ever need.

My life is insignificant
As long as we remain faithful and do God's will, it doesn't matter what we get or don't get on earth. At the end of the day, we are all evaluated based on our faithfullness. Like Paul and his letters. It may have seemed a small act at that time. But the effect of it is lasting generations to come. So, as long as I am doing God's will for me on earth. Even though right now my kids may seem ruder than others. Even though I am not seeing places or experiencing new things. I have a peace because I know it is the place and the time that God has willed for me.

I am so glad I still cry. I listen to sermons and I still feel my heart move and tears fall down my cheek. I still feel the need to stand for an altar call. Just that day, while stilll struggling with everything in my heart, I heard this song by Don Moen 'I will Sing' from a CD I picked up to play in my car. And I started to cry and cry so much so I had to pull over. But today I hear the same song and I can sing it with an understanding and am reminded of God's peace.

So, I am very glad I still cry. In tears I begin to know God.