It is only that he is here, that I realize how different my life was without him.
When he wasn't around, I was trying my best to just cope. I really put all my needs second place. Up to the point that after 2 and a half months, I was getting desperate for some of my needs to be met. Not those kind of 'needs' but needs as simple as wanting to go for a drive without anywhere in mind. Or my desire to eat tau fu fah without having to hunt for it myself in the midst of my already busy dropping off and picking up.
In fact I realize that my daughter has stopped asking me to go out kai kai/shopping. It used to be a weekly Friday affair, eating out and shopping. But when hubby was not here, my parents didn't favor eating out. So, even if we were to go out shopping/window shopping, it would be after an early dinner. It was half the fun. But for me to do it every Friday would be more stressful since my mum would not be able to handle it well.
In fact, now after 2 days at home, my son is complaining that we should go home earlier and not go around town. We have been admittedly doing so since it is 2 more days to CNY and I have not done alot of things. Hubby is the kind who likes to go out and I don't mind moving around doing errands etc. But to the kids, this is a far cry from what they have been experiencing these pass 2 months.
Another fact is that by 8.50 pm, Christopher gets chased upstairs coz my parents can't stand that the 2 kids fight and cry. Hubby and I seem more immune to this kind of chaos. Or maybe since hubby is mostly on his phone, he doesn't see as often as my parents a misdeed.
At any rate, on the 2nd night, I was shocked that it was already 9.15 and my son was still happily playing downstairs. I have had more work to do since my parents left to stay in their own home, so I never realized the lateness of the hour.
During lunch today, I thought about the errands I had to do when I get home. And I realized that I was not stressed about the work that needed to be done. So as much as I have more housework to do with my parents gone, I am less stressed about juggling that with the outside chores.
And strangely, before hubby went away, he always used to ask me questions like 'What did you cook today?' and I would sometimes get irritated that he would ask such a question. So my answers will be very short or I would tell him to go back and check for himself. But yesterday it didn't even irk me when he asked what I cooked for the night. It seemed like the kind of question my dad would ask my mum anyway. So, I answered in much detail, in fact asking him if he wanted to add anything else. I feel that this response has rubbed off from my mum's 'reporting' to my dad everything about dinner. Especially since my dad is very particular if there is enough food for his grandson.
So, in some ways, this feels new to me. Some things from my mum are rubbing onto me making some of the questions hubby used to ask no longer a source of irritation. I still have to nag for things to be done since my parents have left, that has not changed. And the relieve of external work no longer feels heavy in my mind.
There is good and bad in every situation. Hope I can keep the good and discard the bad. Hope everyone else steps up to the situation they are in.