I need to write this. It's not like I will ever forget but it helps to write about it.
As the days progress (I can't believe it's just day 3 without him), it seems to get easier. But I reckon it's just tiredness and the memorial that makes it seem easier. There are still so many areas we need to find replacements. And with each moment that we need to replace his presence, the loss of my dad washes anew.
This cannot be a sequential log. Some will be short, some will be long.
Daddy loved to learn. Barely a week ago, he was just telling us he bought the new ipad mini.
"But you know Ann, the one with the retina is so much better!"
He never shunned away from learning. He was always learning, always willing to listen to any bit of information we could give him. He never thought himself so great that his kids could not give him more information.
He had the highest integrity. His external person was the same as the person at home in terms of his integrity. He never accepted anything from anyone. He did no favors. If he did anything, it would have been with a clear conscience. He was always constant in his views and always strong in his stand.
He loved road trips. He loved to explore. He was always interested when I wanted to tell him about all the road trips I made. He always listened and he was always interested, always interested.
Daddy always did things well. I remember him saying "If you want to do something, do it well and complete it". I was a lazy girl so this lesson might have been what made me the person I am today.
I remembered when I got into a car accident, daddy told me, if money can help you solve the problem, it's not really a problem. He never help on to money like his life depended on it. He was a generous man but never frivolous. He spend when and where was required. He was never a stingy man. He worked hard to get where he was and I don't remember ever having to ask him for anything.
I remember one time when we were in Kuching. It was a rare occasion cause I only remember this one night when we were gathered in the master bedroom and he told us stories from when he was young. And we laughed and laughed till the elastic of my pants broke. Just when he was narrating a story about a teacher whose pants kept coming down and he had to keep using his forearms to hold his pants up! Daddy was a funny guy.
You would think as a man, he wouldn't be all that bothered with what happened in our girly lives. But daddy went shopping with us. He used to help mummy pick out gowns. He was very particular about the way we dressed. I remember he would even comment that we were pretty, or request us to change our clothes.
...to be continued....